Hey folks. So anyhow. Bailee and her boyfriend, Peanuts, are coming down for the Fourth of July week. His name is Chandler. He tried to play a joke on me that I quickly turned around on him. Bless his heart! Thus, the nickname Peanuts. You’ll have to ask him for the dirty rotten details. They are flying down here on Allegiant Airlines. We can see the Clearwater airport from our complex on the bay.
Emily picked them up at the airport around 7:30 A.M. They stopped off at the local mom and pop donut shop. Bailee loves their Fruity Pebbles donut. So anyhow, I wake up at about 10 or so and come into the kitchen. Emily is feeding our kitty, Squeeky. I was surprised to see Bailee and Peanuts both sound asleep on our two couches.
Me: “Oh my! They must be pooped from getting up so early.”
Emily: ” Yep. They said they needed a nap.”
The sleepy heads finally wake up around noon.
Me: “Good grief! You wait all this time to come down here and you go to sleep.”
Bailee: “Yeah, I know, right. Well, I’m ready to go to the beach now.”
Me: “Hey Peanuts! You low life, worthless, soccer bum.”
Peanuts: “What’s up old man?”
Me: “My IQ. and it just keeps going up. Something you won’t ever have to worry about. Nobody with any sense is going to run around getting hit between the eyes over and over with a soccer ball.”
Emily: “Don’t be mean to him like that!”
We get everything packed up and head to the beach. There’s a hurricane brewing in the Caribbean. Bailee’s phone rings. Naturally, it’s her mom.
Bailee: “Yeah mom. We are watching the weather app.”
We know it isn’t going to hit us, but her mom keeps thinking it is and is worried about it. We get to North Beach and park on the side street at Mango. Free parking! We get our chairs and tent set up. Bailee gets her raft out and has Peanuts blow it up for her.
The gulf is usually pretty calm, but with the hurricane brewing, the wind is from the west and the waves are about three feet. Enough for them to have some fun on the raft.
Emily: “Bailee, you two don’t get too far out with the waves being rough.”
Bailee: ” Ok. We won’t.”
So, they get in the water with her float. The waves are coming in and they’re having a hard time getting out as the gulf keeps throwing them back. She is paddling and keeps trying to get away from him, but I don’t know how much luck she’s going to have.
Peanuts played soccer in high school and really liked it. He was the captain of the team.
Me: “Hey Peanuts! Did you know that Tampa Bay has a professional soccer team? They’re called the Rowdies. They play down in Saint Pete and are supposed to be really good.”
Peanuts: ” No I didn’t know that. Are you telling me the truth old man or just messing with me again?”
Me: “Yes.”
Peanuts: “What you mean, yes?”
Me: “You asked an open-ended question.”
Peanuts: ” Ok. Enough with the English lesson. Do they really have a pro soccer team here?”
Me: “Well, if you don’t believe me look it up for yourself.”
I pulled up the Tampa schedule while they were out in the water and saw that they had a home game tomorrow night. I looked up tickets and they are pretty reasonable. Peanuts gets up and goes out in the water by himself.
Me; ” Hey Bailee! What do you think about getting tickets and taking Peanuts to a soccer game?”
Bailee: “I’ve never been to a professional soccer game. I’ve just watched him in high school. He would absolutely love that.”
Me: ” OK. I’m going to go online now and get the tickets. You can tell him when we get home.”
We all dislike soccer and none of us have ever been to a professional soccer game, but we wanted to do it for Peanuts.
Bailee’s phone rings and it’s her mother calling again to ask about the weather at the beach. We all got a good laugh out of that.
Me: “Hey Peanuts! Why don’t we do a video like the hurricane is coming and send it to her mom?”
Peanuts: “Oh man! Yeah, let’s do it, it’ll be great.”
Bailee: “Oh my gosh! You two are crazy!”
Me: ” OK. I’m gonna get the video going and you hang on to the tent like you’re trying to stop it from flying away. Peanuts, we got to hurry and get this tent put up. The hurricane is coming and the wind is really bad. The storm is on its way!!!”
Peanuts is acting like he can hardly stand up and he’s holding on to the tent trying to pull up the steaks. He’s waving his arms at me to help.
Peanuts: “Stop the video! Put the phone down and come help me before it flies away!”
Me: “Oh man that’s funny! Come over here and let’s look at the video.”
Peanuts: “Yeah man, that’s perfect. Let’s send it to Heather.”
Me: “No, I’m going to send it to Bailee. Let her send it to her mom and see what reaction we get.”
Bailee: ” OK I got it. I’m sending it to mom now. This is gonna be funny. Oh wow! That was fast. She already text me back and just said that you two are crazy.”
OK, we got the car loaded up and we’re headed home. All the way back, Peanuts is talking about how good Tampa is at soccer and all about their history. I’m barely listening because I really don’t care, but he seems excited about it.
Me: ” All I know is that they have green and yellow outfits and play at Al Lang Stadium, which is a historic old minor-league baseball stadium right on the bay in Saint Pete. I have never been to it, but know it is a beautiful stadium. I figure, what the heck, at least I can get a look at the stadium and think about what happened in the past.”
Bailee has a softball tournament next week in Atlanta and her folks want me to work with her every day on her hitting. We were in Chattanooga last week watching her play in a big national tournament. She struggled a bit at the plate and I knew exactly why. Her back elbow was up a bit too high causing her to drop her back shoulder a bit when she started her swing.
I just got up and am having my morning glass of cold coffee. Everybody else is already up.
Me: ” Hey Bailee. Has your mom called yet about you hitting?”
Bailee: “Nope. Not yet. But she will.”
Me: “Well, you don’t need to hit at all. You just need to completely get away from softball and just let your mind clear out. You were just getting your back elbow too high last week. Just get back to starting with the bat rested on your shoulder and you will be fine.”
Bailee: ” That works for me.”
A few minutes later her phone rings. It’s her mom, “Did you hit today?”
Bailee: “We are here in a few minutes.”
This process repeated itself each day.
Me: ” I guess we better get to hitting. So, what we will do is have Emily video us every morning for a swing or two and you can send it to your folks, so they think we are hitting. That will keep them satisfied.”
We all had a good laugh over that!
We go out for our first pretend hitting session.
Me: “Ok. Now, send that to your folks.”
About five minutes later, her phone rings. You guessed it. It’s her mom. “Did you it today?”
Bailee: “Yep, we just hit for the day. Now we’re going to the beach.”
This process repeated itself the whole week. Bless their hearts. It was so darn funny.
SIDE NOTE: Bailee went to Atlanta the next week and hit over 500. Sometimes you just need to clear your mind at the beach with Emily and Grumpa.
We had another great day at the beach.
Me: “Ok folks. Now that we are back from the beach, we need to shower and head to supper by 5.”
Emily: ” What you got in mind for supper? Why don’t we go get free tacos?”
Me:” Mexican food? You know Bailee hates Mexican food!”
Bailee is laughing so hard. She eats Mexican food and Chick-fil-A about 8 days a week!
So, we go up to Tijuana Flats for some free tacos. Every time Tampa Bay pitchers strike out at least 10 batters from the opposing team we get a free taco, chips and drink and I have saved up coupons. Peanuts has on a soccer shirt and white shorty shorts. I think that’s what other soccer guys wear, shorty shorts. So, we get to the taco place and Bailee decides she doesn’t want the free taco.
Bailee: ” I don’t think I want the taco. I don’t like all that stuff that’s on it, so I’m going to get chicken nachos.”
Peanuts: ” Good. That means I can have two tacos and chips.”
Me: “If you like lemonade, try the strawberry lemonade. It’s really good.”
So, we’re sitting here having a good time and Peanuts is scarfing down his and Bailee’s free tacos.
Me: “OK folks it’s between 5:45 and a quarter to 6. We probably need to wrap this up and head on down to Saint Pete. The game is at 7.”
Peanuts: “Wait a minute! Why did you say 5:45 and a quarter til 6? That’s the same time old man.”
Me: “Giddy up!”
Peanuts: “I gotta go to the bathroom and take a leak right quick and then I’ll be ready to go.”
Me: ” Hey! Let’s get up real quick and go get in the car. I’ll drive off and park the car on the other side of the parking lot to mess with him.”
Emily: “You’re going to scare that poor guy to death!”
Bailee: “He deserves it.”
We can see Peanuts come out of the bathroom and head out the door. He’s just standing there looking around like where in the heck did everybody go. He’s kind of turning around and walking over toward us.
Peanuts: ” I knew you would do something like that old man.”
We all had a good laugh. Bless his heart.
We drive down to Saint Pete and the soccer stadium isn’t too far from Tropicana Field.
Me: “Ok, there’s the Juicebox. That’s what I call it. It’s the most hideous and useless stadium in the country. MLB won’t even let them have the All Star game here!”
Emily: “See that little hole in the wall right there? That’s the Burg. We will take you there for supper before the baseball game in a couple of days.”
Me: “I love their Cuban sandwich. It’s a real one. The Cuban sandwich was created in Tampa by the Cubans and Italians working at the cigar factories. It has ham, pork shoulder, Genoa salami, Swiss cheese, mayo, mustard and pickles. If it doesn’t have salami, it’s a fake Miami Cuban!! Ok we are close to Al Lang now.”
Peanuts: “Hey! There’s a parking garage!”
Me: “I’m allergic to paying for parking.”
Emily: “Just pay! There’s no spaces on the street.”
Me: ” Nope!”
So anyhow, I drive on down to the pier and then back around to Central Ave.
Peanuts: “Hey! Look! There’s somebody pulling out!”
Me: ” Bingo! The George Costanza of parking strikes again!!”
It was only a couple blocks to the stadium. There’s lots of people out and about. Restaurants are full again. It’s a really good atmosphere. Lots of folks in yellow and green jerseys and a lot of people wearing scarves.
Me: “Why are the soccer people wearing scarves and it’s 90?”
Peanuts: “It’s a soccer thing.”
Me: “No kidding Sherlock! I can see that. I’m asking you why is it a soccer thing?”
Peanuts: “I really don’t know and I never thought about it.”
(Peanuts finally looked it up on the way home. In Scotland, back hundreds of years ago, it was so cold at soccer games that people always wore scarves. So, one day, a guy gets the idea to buy a scarf that’s the same color as his team. The next thing you know everybody’s doing it. That’s the simplicity of the story.)
We walk inside the stadium and it is really beautiful.
Bailee: “Oh wow! Look! The dugouts are still there. It’s so neat that they didn’t tear them down.”
The field runs from where first base would be all the way out to left field and left centerfield. Our seats are on the third base side, which would be out about the 50-yard line or whatever the heck it is and soccer. We have really good seats. The place is about half full and they have their band going.
Me: “Man, Peanuts, this is a really neat atmosphere.”
Emily: “Oh look! They have a cheering section like the Bleacher Creatures.”
We get to our seats and you can see Tampa Bay behind us.
Me: “Yeah, but ain’t nothing like Yankee stadium!”
Emily: “Oh this is a beautiful setting.”
Me: “Too bad this place is wasted on soccer.”
They start playing and are kicking the ball back-and-forth back, back-and-forth. I notice the clock up there.
Me: “Why is it starting at zero and going up instead of at 20 or whatever and going backwards like everything else?”
Peanuts: “Well, in soccer the clock starts at zero and goes up to 45 each half.”
Me: “Well good. At least I can watch the clock to see how close it’s getting to 45. Man, these metal seat backs are kicking my butt.”
So, we’re watching and I noticed that Emily and Bailee aren’t even paying attention to the game. They’re watching all the fans. Peanuts is sitting up taking it all in like it’s a dang World Series game.
Me: “So, Peanuts, tell me about the strategy here. What kind of plays does the offense run?”
Peanuts: “They don’t run any plays. They’re just kicking it back-and-forth and trying to get past the defense.”
Me: “Are you kidding me? So, all I’m doing is watching some guys kick a dang ball around and they can’t catch it or anything. They’re just trying to get it by some other guy? And my buddy Milto told me there was more strategy to soccer than any other sport. What a load of crap!”
Peanuts: “Yeah, pretty much.”
Me: ” There’s only 20 minutes gone by and I got 25 minutes more in this half. What about all the positions? Some guys aren’t really even going across half court or whatever it’s called.”
Peanuts: “Some of them stay behind midfield and then kick it to the other guys that are supposed to be the ones that score.”
Me: “So, three of those guys out there, all they do is stand there and kick the ball back-and-forth and kick it to somebody else. They never go down close to the goal at all and try to score?”
Peanuts: ” Yep! That’s about it.”
I look at the clock again. It’s only up to 30. I got 15 more minutes in this half. Lord have mercy! Bailee is being a trooper. She is trying to have a good time and support Peanuts. I can tell she is about as irritated with this crap as I am. I text a picture to Chris to tell him where I am. He says, ” Goodness! You will do anything for that girl.”
Hallelujah! Halftime is finally here! Peanuts decided he wanted to go over to the team store and get a jersey. Emily and I stand up and stretch and have a good talk about how much fun we’re having with the kids, even though we didn’t care about the soccer game. They finally get back as the second half starts. By the way, neither team has even scored. I mean good grief. What a snoozer!
So, the whole second half, I’m just pretty much sitting here looking at the stadium and thinking about the old baseball books I’ve read about the Cardinals and Cincinnati Reds playing in spring training games at Al Lang Stadium years ago. I remember Pete Rose talking about the first game he ever played in at spring training. He was put in to pinch run at third base against the Yankees.
I remember other old tales about this great ole stadium. Wow! This historic daydreaming of sorts seems to help the time get up to 45 a little bit quicker. Just a few minutes left in the game. Then I noticed on the scoreboard that neither team has scored.
Me: “Peanuts! Does anybody ever score in these things?”
Peanuts: “Yeah, but there’s not much scoring in soccer. I’ve played in games when nobody scores and then they have a shoot-out.”
A shoot out? That makes me think of old westerns I used to watch with my grandfather when I was a kid. Kid? Hmmm. Billy the Kid. Ah. Well, I will watch a western in my head til this fiasco is finally over. Is it time for the fireworks yet?
The fireworks are very nice being shot into the night over Tampa Bay on the St. Pete waterfront.
Peanuts: ” Well old man. What do you think of your first soccer game?”
So, being the smart alec commodian that I am, here’s my response.
Me: ” Well, I ain’t never had no colonoscopy, but if I’d had one, it would probably be similar to this. I was kind of compressed about it cause them fellers was in pretty good shape and stuff, but I ain’t never seen so many fellers on one field that had injured arms. I mean couldn’t none of em use their arms. And, they was these two guys on each end that apparently had good arms cause they was catchin the ball. But the thang is they had on different colored outfits than the other fellers. I guess the wardrobe department was out of their sizes or somethin.I don’t know. But. uh. and some of the fellers must not be able to see that ball too good cause they’d be a runnin and all of a sudden that there ball would hit em right betwingst the eyes. Just boom! I mean. uh. I really wanted to start takin up a collection to get em some eye glasses or somethin. I don’t know, but I did like their orchestra. And the choir. It was real good. But, I thank I enjoyed it so much. I’m 60 years old. I thank I’m going to start making it a tradition that ever 60 years I’m gonna come to a soccer game. So, I’ll see ya in 60 buddy.”
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