Well, Sunday night baseball is on. I’m in bed with my mommy and daddy watching the Los Angeles Dodgers play the Mets at Citi Field. My daddy calls it something else that occurs in the bathroom, but I won’t repeat it here. Max Scherzer is pitching for the Dodgers. Did you know he has two different colored eyes? I don’t think he can see in the dark like me, though.
The Dodgers are beating the Mets as usual. Will Smith “The Fresh Catcher of LA” and Max Muncy hit home runs and before you know it the Dodgers are running away with the game 6 zip after two innings. I was hoping Pete Alonso would do good since my mommy and daddy saw him play up in Gainesville for the Gators a few years ago.
I really like watching baseball, but my dad is right, the Mets suck! Well, about that time, my daddy tells my mommy, “Good grief! The Mets suck! Let’s watch something else.” So, they turn on the show with Larry David. It’s called Curb Your Enthusiasm. Did you know he and Jerry thought up Seinfeld at the Westway Diner, right down from where our friend Michael lives?
They’re watching this episode where Larry goes to his therapist and the therapist tells him to go to the beach with his wife. Larry says he doesn’t like the beach, but he takes his wife anyway. The next thing you know, he sees this man with a big belly in a thong speedo. Well, holy cow, it was his therapist! Then, the man bends over and showed his butt cheeks. Yuck! My mommy and daddy were laughing so hard! Now, I like a good laugh, but this is so stupid to me. I’d rather be watching the Dodgers beat the crap out of the Mets. Now that’s funny!
So, I’m thinking, I’ve had enough of this stuff. It’s about 9 o’clock anyways.
You see, I get up about 9 o’clock every night and go over to my daddy because that’s about the time every single night, my daddy scratches my mommy’s head ’til she goes to sleep. So, I get up and go over to him and say, “OK! I’m tired of watching this silly show. It’s time to get up and go in the bathroom so I can get a drink of water out of the faucet while you pet me for a while.”
They’re still laughing and my mommy says, “Now, Squeeky lay back down here and let us watch the show. It’s about over.” My daddy says, “Now, you know she wants to go to the bathroom at 9 o’clock.” Mommy says, “She’s got you wrapped around her little paws.”
I look at my daddy and say, “Come on daddy! Let’s go! You know how to put that on pause.”
He looks at me and says, “Geez! You’re too smart. Why did I ever teach you how to tell time?”
coachdeesays 