Now all the years that I have been taking kids to New York City there has only been one time that I was totally lost with no clue what to do. It was my third year chaperoning the trip. Even though I grew up as a New York Yankees fan,I had never been to Yankee stadium. Will “Mud Boy”, more on that nickname in the sports story section, was one of my basketball players and golfers. Will grew up as an Atlanta Braves fan and his favorite player was Chipper Jones, the third baseman. Better known to Mets fans as “Larry!Larry!” Will wore his Braves cap and T-shirts on the trip.
Me: Will you’re going to get yourself beat up in New York wearing that stuff and I ain’t coming to your rescue if you do.
Will: Thanks, Coach.
To put things in perspective, the 2000 baseball season was just getting underway and in a December 1999 Sports Illustrated interview, John Rocker, a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves, made some disparaging comments about New Yorkers to say the least. Be careful what kind of karma you create as his career took quite a tailspin in the coming years.
The comments caused quite an uproar throughout major league baseball and particularly in New York. It doesn’t matter if you are in Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Staten Island or the Bronx, baseball is king. During baseball season, most folks are talking about baseball and know what’s going on.
So we are downtown one morning, with Michael, our tour guide, in front of Trinity Church, Michael Morrows has been my tour guide for many years. He has his own tour company, Tomorrow’s Tours. He is a walking encyclopedia of New York City knowledge. He’s very elegant, has a trained Broadway singing voice, and a handsome, debonair fella. He is an entertainer at heart. When he is with a tour group, he is on stage. He’s great with the kids and always seems to have a great time. Tour groups are his Broadway. And he’s the best. He’s the tour guide version of a Broadway smash hit! So, if you are planning a group trip to the Big Apple, by all means call Michael!!
So anyhow, these two guys in suits come up to us. They take a look at Will and grin. “Hey! You a Braves fan? Quickly my survival instincts take over.
Me: I’m not. He is. You guys want to kick his tail go ahead!
Will turns and looks at me puzzled, but not surprised at my comment.
Will: Thanks, Coach.
The guy says, No! No! We got two tickets to the Yankees game tonight and we can’t go. Thought you might like to buy them.
Will grins. As do I.
Me: Heck yeah! How much?
Suit: $25 face value upper deck right behind home plate.
So, Will and I give the guys the money and that’s that. Will looks at me with his grin.
Will: See Coach. My Braves stuff got us two tickets to the game.
Me: Yep sure did. But you’re still going to get us in trouble up here.
Will: You know how to get there, Coach?
Me: Heck no. Hey Michael! We just got two tickets to the Yankee game tonight. How do we get there?
Will: On the subway, Coach.
Me: Smartass !
Will: Just saying what you would say.
Michael: Oh that’s great! And Dee, you love the Yankees! Get on the D train and get off at 161st St stop. There’s a local and express this time of day. Get on the local D train.
Sounds simple enough. It was only 3 o’clock and the game didn’t start until 7. So we had plenty of time. Off we go to the subway. We’re pretty jacked up about it. Will had on his Braves cap and t-shirt.
Earlier, we had lunch at the South St. Seaport and there is a Yankee store there. Will went in with me during our lunch break and I bought a gray Derek Jeter jersey. So, we were both dressed for a ball game.
When I look back on it, with the John Rocker saga at full bloom, walking around with a Yankee jersey and cap on next to a Braves fan made me just as much of a target as Will.
We’re down in the subway in lower Manhattan waiting on a D train.
Will: Hey Coach. Looks like a D train coming.
Now, if you have ever been in the subway in New York City, at many of the stations, there’s no schedule of when a train is coming. There are directions that tell you which train takes you in a certain direction, but that’s it.
Me: Yep. Let’s get on that one.
So we get on the train and take a seat. There are very few people on the train at that time of the day.
Me: Man, Will, I can’t believe we’re going to a game. Been a Yankees fan all my life. Never been to Yankee Stadium. This is gonna be great. Where are our seats?
Will: Second row upper deck behind home plate.
Me: That’s sweet.
Union Square stop. Time Square stop. Columbus Circle stop.
Me: This thing makes a lot of stops. Wish we had a subway map.
Will: Well, Coach, we got a ways to go before we get to 161st St.
Me: Genius!
72nd St. stop. The Dakota. Where John Lennon of the Beatles was shot. Go across the street into Central Park to see Strawberry Fields and Imagine memorial. Good Sabret hot dog stand too!
Museum of Natural History stop. 110th St. stop. St. John The Divine Church. Second largest catholic church in the world. Just down the street is Tom’s Restaurant, which has served the Columbia University community since the 1940’s. The facade of the diner is what we see on Seinfeld. But it’s called Monk’s on the show.
Me: Well, we’re getting closer. You know though, I don’t see any other folks on here with Yankee garb on.
Will: It’s still a long time before the game, Coach. Most folks probably wait till closer to game time.
Me: I guess. Makes sense.
125th St. Harlem. The Apollo Theatre. 155th St stop.
Will: Should be the next stop, Coach.
As you pull into a station, you can see the street name of the stop on the walls.
Me: Will! Look at the walls?
Will: Yep. 161st and River Avenue! We’re here !
Me: Wait a minute! The train’s not stopping! What the heck is going on? The train is supposed to stop here.
Will: What do we do now, Coach ?
We are both just looking at each other. Now as a coach, you’re not supposed to let your ballplayers ever see panic on your face.
Me: We will just get off at the next stop and walk back to the stadium. Can’t be far. We got plenty of time.
Will: Yeah, you’re right, Coach. No big deal.
I guess I snowed him over for the time being. The train finally stopped at 176 St.
So we get off the subway and walk upstairs to the street. I’m feeling a little better now about it. But, that was a temporary feeling.
Me: OK, we are at 176th and got to walk back to 161st. That’s just 15 blocks. We will be fine.
Will: Yep
So anyhow, we start walking and we hear salsa music across the street, as a group of guys were standing around talking next to a car. Now, like I said, most folks know what’s going on in the baseball world and we were in the Bronx. The heart of the Yankee Universe. It suddenly dawned on me, we must be sticking out like a sore thumb. Two Tennessee hillbillies, looking like deer in the headlights, and Will with his dang Braves gear on.
Me: Man.We don’t need to be up here and you with that crap on. I told you that you were going to get beat up. Now, I might get beat up for walking around with you!
Will: Yeah. I can see that.
Me: Take that Folex (knock off Rolex) off your wrist and wrap it around your knuckles.
Will: Yeah.Ok.
Me: Don’t look at anybody and just walk carefully like we know where we are.
Even though, if we both knew where we were, we would have known we got no business being where we are and wouldn’t be where we are.
Will: Yeah! Yea! I get it !!
By this time we had walked a couple of blocks.
Me: Hey look! There’s a police car! Let’s go ask them if we should just walk back, catch a bus or get on the subway. They can tell us what to do. Right out of a scene from Home Alone: Lost in New York, when Kevin’s mom asks the police for help.
Will: Good idea.
Me: Hello officer.
As I utter those two words, I can immediately tell from the look in the officer’s eyes. that he knows we are two hillbillies from the south and we are completely lost.
Officer : Hey. How ah ya?
He says with kind of a grin on his face. Now, if he is trained as well as Barney Fife, my favorite character on tv, when I was a child, he already knew the answer. You see, Barney always made it known that he was a trained noticer. So this cop had to know we were lost.
Me: Well officer. I have a question. If you don’t mind?
Officer: Ok
Me: Well, I’m not sure what to do. We were on the uptown D train going to Yankee Stadium and the train didn’t stop, so we ended up here.
Officer: Yes. There are two D trains, a local and an express. You were on the express and it doesn’t stop this time of the day at the stadium, but it does when it gets closer to game time.
Obviously, I was so excited about the game, I didn’t hear that minor, uh major, detail when Michael told me.
Me: Yes sir. We found that out, sir. Could you please tell us if we should just walk to the stadium from here. Catch a bus or get back on the subway, Sir?
Officer: Dude. The best thing you can do is walk right over there and get back down in that subway station and get on the D local train as fast as you can. If you know what I mean.
He’s clearly looking at Will and his Atlanta Braves clown suit on.
Me: Yes sir. Thank you sir, Have a good day, sir.
As we walked off, I couldn’t help but think, those two policemen are probably having a really good laugh right now.
So, we walk across the street and down the steps to the subway platform.
Will: Hey, Coach, there’s a sign for the D train.
Me: Yep. Let’s get on that thing, hope it’s the local and get out of here.
Luckily, us two hillbillies made it back down to the stadium in plenty of time to visit Monument Park. Watch some batting practice. Will almost caught a Jose Canseco home run during batting practice. Our seats were great. Will almost caught two foul balls too. The Yankees beat the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
Ballgame over Yankees win! Theeeee Yankees win! As John Serling would say.
We managed to find our way back to the hotel that night, laughing and talking about our fun experience the whole way.
The next morning, Michael comes up and greets us.
Michael: Good morning ! Red Bank!! How are you all today?
Dee, did you and Will enjoy the game ?
Me: We had a blast and boy do we have a story to tell you !
And yes, Will had on another Braves t-shirt.
Me: You’re wearing that Braves stuff again?
Will: Yep
Me: You’re going to get yourself beat up wearing that crap.
Will: I think after yesterday, I can handle anything.
Me: Yes, you can, Mud. Yes you can.
As of this writing, August, 2021, Will “Mud Boy” is an engineer with a prestigious firm in Atlanta. As fate would have it, Will is a Braves season ticket holder and has a luxurious apartment, in The Battery, right outside the main entrance to the Braves beautiful, new stadium.
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