So anyhow… I’m just sitting here reading about the Yankees game on the line and I look up and this creature is staring at me. A nosey White Egret. So I figured it looks friendly. May as well have a chat.
Me: Hey friend? What’s up?
Egret: Not much. Just looking for some brunch. And you?
Me: Just reading about last night’s Yankee game.
Egret: Yeah, I have a buddy, Pudgy the pigeon, that loves New York. Says he’s watched some great games at The Stadium. He comes down in the winter. I guess he’s a real snowbird. Every time he flies away, he says, “Boston sucks!”
Me: My kind of guy. Pudgy. Interesting name.
Egret: Well, when a guy eats pizza and bagels all summer. Well. You get the idea.
Me: Ha! Yeah. I been up there enough to get it.
Me: So what’s on the menu for you? Lizards?
Egret: Man! You’re a genius! What else am I going to eat?
Me: Oh yeah. I guess with all the red tide, it kind of cuts down on the sushi selections.
Egret: Again. You’re a genius!
Me: Hey! Look I’m just trying to be nice and sympathize with your situation.
Egret: Yeah. Yeah.
Me. Hey! What kind of lizard tastes the best?
Egret: Ah. They all taste like cheap leather.
Me: Nature’s version of fast food.
Egret: What?
Me: Well, fast food places usually have fried food that all tastes the same.
Egret: Why are you telling me this stuff ? I don’t care what you humans eat.
Me: Look! You’re at my window. I didn’t ask you to come by.
Egret: Good grief old man. Can you just shut the heck up and read your stupid baseball crap so I can catch this juicy green lizard?
Me: Gee. Ok.
Egret: Gulp!
Me: Wow! Quick reflexes.
Egret: Quicker than Pudgy. Have a good day old man. Boston sucks!
Me: You got that right!
coachdeesays 